A Path of Suffering

Each time I consider ending this blog I feel a compulsion to write again. As I write I have been informed that my cancer is back and we will need to take some action. I am not worried and am coming to a deeper trust with my Lord. I have reconnected with an old friend who is much farther along in her battle with the disease, and she has shared some incredibly profound thoughts from her experience. I am finding that once you enter this community of survivors and fighters that there is something special you begin to understand. Not that anyone would wish for disease but there are things that you learn from it that you may not have learned otherwise.

For example, as much as we like structure and planning so as to make our world predictable, controllable and to minimize surprises it is ultimately an exercise in futility. We are not in control of anything except for ourselves, which I find to be more than I can usually handle. So once you realize this it causes you to adjust your priorities. You anticipate the day that God has given you not so much determined to simply get the "to do" list done but to see more of what God is doing and what He is inviting you to join Him in.

Clearly what use to be important is not as important and that which was sometimes overlooked begins to take preeminence. Time with my wife is so valuable and to see my children and grandchildren takes on new urgency. My ministry is more about meeting people face to face, to share conversation, instead of writing the next great sermon or plan some event or program that will fade into history. I have found through the writings of my friend that little things I did 25 years ago still carry significance and contribute to my identity as one of God's servants.

So to you who have taken the time to read this do not pray to quickly for suffering to be removed from you for you may lose one of the grandest opportunities to know your Savior intimately. Yes there will be suffering along the path so let the rejoicing begin!