The Waiting

Well I am back on the path again. The healing is not going as well as I had hoped but I have not really been patient to allow for it either. It is not easy for me to simply rest and see all that I could be doing going undone. So I wait. Those who love me and care for me continue to admonish me and encourage me to give myself time but I have never been good about waiting. I know God said that if we would wait we would mount up with wings like eagles but apparently I have not taken that to heart yet. I know the problem is pride.

There is the other waiting too. The waiting on finding out what the prognosis is. My mind travels there on a daily basis as well as playing out the scenarios of potential outcomes. I am learning that living boldly is not without its moments of waiting. I struggle with the fact that sometimes my faith is so cerebrel. I know God's timing is perfect but what's wrong with mine? I know waiting may (and usually is) for the better but why can't it happen now? I know... but... I am more than able to acknowledge God's greater wisdom, power, and timing from my belief in Him, but now I must move to have my heart believe Him.

So I am working to make the most of the respite time. I am going deeper into God's word and really getting to know this wonderful God I have worshipped for so long. I am preaching through the Sermon on the Mount and am finding that it is some of, if not the most powerful words Jesus ever spoke. As one of His children I am drawn to an ever deepening relationship with Him. I am praying the Beatitudes into my life each day as well as reading them. God is all the more present, yes within my heart, but also before my eyes. I see His manifest presence in so many ways and He assures me that I do not wait alone. I pray that you will know His presence this way as well. Mark Batterson writes that we sometimes get so busy doing the Lord's work that we destroy the work of the Lord in us. It's OK. Pull off to the side of the path and breath God in. It will do you some good. See you at the next stop.